


Wish To Remain

by asllapiscu



Series: Ceremonious [1]
Category: Kamen Rider Build
Genre: Alternate Universe - Magic, M/M, spoilers for episode 20 onwards, we're all mages now
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-17
Updated: 2018-04-17
Packaged: 2019-04-24 01:37:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,352
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14345244
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/asllapiscu/pseuds/asllapiscu
Summary: He was told that the hazard tome could help him. He knew of the dangers when messing with the dark arts - but to protect the lives of those he cared about, he'd risk anything.However, what he didn't know was how to handle the consequences of losing control.





	Wish To Remain

Everything around him is dark and hazy; all so far away and distant. He’s surrounded by poisonous air, unable to breathe or hold himself together. Disconnected from reality, he secluded himself to his study, away from everyone, everything - he can't take it. The scene plays again and again in his head; taunting him, reminding him, of his loss of control. How he allowed the darkness to swallow him whole without any resistance, letting the power course through him like water - it was practically natural. _Dangerously_ so. To let such a feeling to overtake his senses entirely...

What kind of mage was he really? Maybe he really is the devil…

The screams ring in his ears as he stares off into the abyss, feeling his heart quake within the hollowness of his chest. Grease cries in agony, his apprentices following suit. It was so easy to take one of them out.

 _Finish it, kill him now_.

The whisper came back and Sento nearly screams. His breathing becomes shallow and rigid, clutching his robe from his chest. Fear, that’s all he felt at this very moment - pure, all consuming _fear_. Scared of the whisper coming back, scared of the dark magic swallowing him whole once more, plunging him into the darkening abyss.

All at once he grows heavy. His arms laying limp by his side, trying to focus back to the present. He can’t let the darkness win. He had to prove Stalk wrong. He can handle the dark magic - he _has_ to. To protect everyone in their town, to prevent any further action of this war to occur, he needed to accept this darkness and harness it.

But it terrified him. He didn’t feel the same when he read the spell; he felt he left his body on a rampage. Watching the world through a black, foggy lense, that’s the closest he could manage to describe it. He thought he was strong enough to handle its influence, despite Stalk’s warnings.

Some genius he was. Isolating himself to deal with a threatening force he can't handle on his own. He looks towards his door.

He knew they would ask about it. So why haven’t they?

He can hear them talking from the other room. He focuses more on their murmurs than the harsh whispers trying to draw him back. He needs to stay grounded, keep himself in his body and not the magic. This is an unfamiliar feeling to him, never having lost control from a spell before, needing to fight it off long after a battle. The nausea from it all is overwhelming.

“Banjou,” he whispers, hoping to call out to his companion. Aside the anguished faces of Grease and his apprentices, stood apart Banjou’s. He looked as terrified as Sento felt when he began to come down from the effects of the spell. Everything was hazy from then to now; Sento can only remember their expressions, being brought back in Banjou’s arms - pushing everyone away to gather himself again. He regrets this, realizing he needs Banjou with him more than he cares to admit.

“Banjou,” he repeats again, his voice raising in volume. The study becomes more familiar and brighter as the dark magic begins to lose its influence. Breathing is still difficult, almost as much as moving, afraid he’ll succumb to it again. But he still drags himself towards the door, painfully, hoping his message gets out.

“ _Ryuga,”_ is all he can manage until he sees the door open, Banjou standing right before him. Sento can only offer a pained smile, the need to collapse getting to him. But Banjou holds Sento up, embracing him tightly.

Banjou’s heartbeat is unsteady and hard, while his breathing is rough and deep. He’s angry. Of course he is - the war is still ongoing, they were unable to stop the Hokuto mages. Despite having killed one, it wasn't part of the plan; it never was. Sento wants to protect and save as many lives as possible, and yet one spell took that optimism from him.

He doesn't notice Banjou closing the door behind them or tightening his hold when he brings his arms back around Sento. In fact, he sees the anger going through Banjou at that very moment, the guilt consuming him from hurting someone he cared about so deeply. This isn't what he wanted, not even close.

Sento’s head is heavy and dizzy, having fought off most of the influence. Without thought, he rests himself against Banjou’s shoulder. It’s selfish and unjustified, but even as the darkness continues to slip away, he’s still nauseous and weak. Yet a hand grips the back of his head, ensuring that it stays right on Banjou’s shoulder.

This is terrible. When did Sento become so dependent on him? The small gesture alone made Sento happy - something he knew he had no right to feel given the circumstances. Yet it did all the same, and he allowed himself to cling to that feeling and to Banjou as well.

“Sento,” Banjou’s voice was low, but shook with intensity. He's still angry, right. “You used…” Fear began to manifest within Sento again, afraid of Banjou’s reaction to what transpired in battle today. He couldn't even begin to fathom how to get any explanation across. “You called me.”

That was not what Sento was expecting. But he realizes that Banjou’s right. Without really thinking, just feeling desperate enough to have Banjou near him, he called him by his true name. He didn't mean to force him here, to _control_ him for Sento’s benefit. He just needed something real to grasp.

“I'm sorry... You can leave, I don't need anything - ”

“Don't lie, you're clinging onto me like you're going to die,” Banjou’s angry is heavy on his tongue, tightening his hold on Sento. This is unfair. “You need to sleep. Rest, or, something.”

“Ha, the muscle head telling me to rest…” Sento put on a faint of a smile, his chest feeling light again. He has to hold onto these feelings, not the dark ones from before. Poisonous and demanding, ready to take over -

“You look like shit. And you're heavy. I can't carry you forever.”

“Not like you could, you're not that strong -”

“What'd you say?!” Sento could almost laugh at how predictable Banjou is, how easy it is to push his buttons. He doesn't want to think anymore of the battle or the darkness that loomed over him. But as Banjou tightens his grip once more, Sento catches a hint of a whisper slip.

“If I were stronger…”

Those words hit Sento horribly. What Misora told him before runs through his head, about how Banjou wishes to end the war quickly _for his sake_. He doesn't deserve this, to even smile or laugh in his presence, as he trembled in Banjou’s arms. He knew he had to let go, to just give up and never fight again - not like this. Not with the hazard tome. But he can't bring himself from letting Banjou go, _needing_ to feel and be around him.

And finally, Sento gained more control of his senses. Still slightly numb, hollow inside; but the darkness had really dissipated. He can breathe again, despite still trembling, feeling relief wash over now that the influence is fully gone from his system. He can see Banjou more clearly too; his expression painted with worry and frustration. Sento’s heart sank, knowing he caused this.

This is just too much.

Banjou finally removes Sento from his hold, carefully placing him onto the bed in the study. Sento looks towards Banjou, confused, especially when he turns around to no longer face him. The only thing Sento can think to do is grip his robes and look away as well, from guilt. But then Banjou surprises Sento, turning back around and walking towards him. He grabs Sento’s face and holds it in his hands, staring him down with an intense gaze; staying like that for a few moments more.

Sento feels conflicted, but grateful. Grateful for a muscle headed idiot that has taken complete control of his heart.

“Banjou,” he starts weakly, trying to look away from his gaze out of shame. It doesn’t work, as Banjou’s gaze is too relentless for Sento to break away. “Banjou, I… Someone died because I…”

“Don’t say it.”

“I can’t keep doing this… I won’t fight anymore… I _can’t_...” Sento’s voice shook as he spoke, the memory playing again in his head. A disgusting mixture of screams and whispers filled him as he shut his eyes to try to drive it all away. But Banjou moves his hands from his face back around Sento. Back to that familiar warmth; and though it gave him a calming presence, it did not help in removing the shame that hid underneath.

“You won’t have to,” Banjou’s voice is firm and full of resolve. However, the promise leaves Sento frightened - after all, he used the hazard tome to _prevent_ Banjou from fighting more. He wanted the war to end so no more fighting could occur; so Banjou would stop needing to use the sclash rune. How could he make a promise like that then, knowing fully well that Sento didn’t approve of the abuse on the rune? “I’ll end -”

Sento couldn't take it anymore; the guilt and the shame and how heavy everything is beginning to feel. He loosens himself from Banjou’s hold and grabs his face. Sento stares back at Banjou; but instead of giving off intensity, he offers a vulnerability he has yet to show him. With his eyes, he had hope he can relay to Banjou the real message he wishes to convey.

_No more fighting... Please stop fighting and stay here, safely… Stay here with -_

Then the door to the study swings open again. Misora is on the other side, her eyes wide and she’s vaguely trembling. Fear takes hold of Sento’s heart.

“There’s been a report, that the Hokuto mages came back… They’re fighting their way to a center facility…”

Sento’s limbs go numb and his breath catches in his throat. He’s frozen, unable to move; the blood on his hands and the darkness in the back of his mind had seized any notion of him going out to fight.

But it didn’t for Banjou. The anger he felt before, it clearly came back as he looks at Sento, his expression hard to read. Is he upset? Or maybe he’s scared too - not of himself, but of _Sento_. The thought causes his skin to crawl. But he also doesn’t want Banjou to lose himself to the sclash rune either.

“I’m going to end this war,” Banjou began, removing himself from Sento’s hold. He walks towards Misora, Sento begging in his mind for Banjou not to go. “I’ll end it right now if I have to.”

“Banjou, you _can’t_ -”

“Can’t _what_ ? Use the rune? The power you gave me to become stronger for this war? Don’t give me that crap!” His back is still turned to Sento, not daring to look at him at all. He really must have scared Banjou that much, to still want to fight in his place. He shouldn’t have to - Sento _doesn’t want him to_. “If you won’t fight, then I will. Plain and simple. At least you won’t get hurt again.”

Before Sento or Misora could even comment, Banjou was already out the door. Just as before, Sento’s throat began to feel tight and his vision dizzy. What kind of mage is he? To allow the man who gave his life new meaning to risk his own? This is terrible.

“Misora,” Sento began, watching his sister walk over to him. She looks scared too, and he hated that. He swore to protect all of them, no matter what the cost. But is the cost worth a human life? Is it worth losing his sanity and becoming a puppet to darker arts? It is really worth losing his sense of self to ensure the safety of not just the town, but the ones he loves most? “Misora, I don’t know what to do...”

Misora gave Sento a frown, trying to piece the puzzle together herself. She can see how tired and scared her brother looks - and it made her feel useless. At least before she was able to purify the essences they’d find together to create his magic. But now...

“Sento, what did you do?”

“The hazard tome… I cast a spell…”

“You used magic without purification? Are you an idiot?”

He doesn’t move or give any indication of a response. Instead, he falls back onto his bed, trying to erase everything from the last few hours. He still feels weak and nauseous and just completely _numb_. And Misora can see that.

“Banjou told us… What happened. That you lost control. He doesn’t think you can fight again.”

“I won’t.”

“Then what about the sclash rune? Banjou will only get worse… You said it before; his body will reach a limit. I can’t purify it more than I already have.”

Sento nearly releases a sob, holding back tears. None of this should be happening. His only options are letting Banjou lose control to the rune, or losing himself to the hazard tome. But those can’t be the only options. There has to be _something else_. Something Stalk must be hiding from him, when he gave Sento this power.

As Misora tries to speak again, they each hear a knock from the front of the shop. Misora takes another glance at her brother, seeing the hollowness of his eyes, before she steels herself and leaves the study. He hates this. He hates all of it.

The great genius mage known as Build? Don’t make him laugh. He’s nothing but a fraud and a murderer now, caught in the gates of hell.

 _Rest_ , is all he could manage to force out. He needs to rest. But the thought of Banjou going out to battle once more, the look on Misora’s face before she left him just now - rest is the last thing on his mind. He needs a new plan, instead.

This is _terrible_.

**Author's Note:**

> this may or may not be a full series because I've had this au stuck in my head for months and i need to get it out. please talk to me abt build on twitter (mythxl)


End file.
